No! Dammit, NO!

[go_team]

The idea of a John Constantine movie starring Keanu Reeves as the title character makes me grumpy in a very petty, childish way (although that's no doubt helped by the fact that I'm up way past my bedtime, and yes I know it's stupid early, but I digress). I mean, what the felch? Constantine's modeled after Sting, for chrissakes, the least they could do is have him played by a blond Brit, not a pan-Asian California boy! Grumpitty grump grump grump. I think I'll go drown my disgruntlement in dessert and then sleep. Argle-bargle!

Comments

[spcedog.livejournal.com]

that's so fucking sick. i swear to god...keanu must have sold his soul or made a deal with the devil to get the roles he's had.

whatever. i'm second your argle-bargle!

urgh!

[djsendai.livejournal.com]

i wouldn't worry too terribly much, this is the 3rd or 4th such loser that's been "set" to play JC in the movie.

More trade rumors I'm guessing, in the same vein as the many stories about the upcoming* Preacher film.

*upcoming being a highly subjective term.

[goteam.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right, and that "upcoming" remains a highly subjective if not outright meaningless term for both of those. I'm going to do my best to avoid thinking too deeply about all the ways a film adaptation could completely hose up Preacher. Blech. Along similar lines, I don't remember where I read it, but Alan Moore's take on having his books adapted into movies is that he doesn't care what they do as long as they give him wheelbarrows full of money in exchange. Which I suppose explains LXG right there. Whee! Ok, must have breakfast now.

[iainuki.livejournal.com]

Yes, it does. Sad, in a way. On the other hand, if I were in Alan Moore's situation, I'm not sure I could resist.

Whoa

[thrasymachos.livejournal.com]

...I know Magic!

[goteam.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Peter sent me the link and his comment was: "I'll need spells. Lots of spells."

[pants-of-doom.livejournal.com]

Warren Ellis seems pretty okay with this.

Also, Warren Ellis likes my comics. This is unrelated but, apparently, true.

[pmb.livejournal.com]

How do you know this?

[pants-of-doom.livejournal.com]

He wrote me a friendster testimonial, I wrote to thank him, we made jokes about Stephen Hawking, and he said to make more comics. Now.

[trenchwench.livejournal.com]

If Keanu Reeves is slated to play John C., then I really hope the film never gets made. When are the movie people going to realize that Reeves has no business in a film where his character talks? (The success of the Matrix flick has a lot to do with Reeves keeping his mouth shut and doing what he does best -lookin' pritty.)

I agree completely with your brit-boy assessment. I also must insist on a grizzled actor ~something like a dark blonde Rutger Howard with more sneer quality.

Here's hoping they never touch Preacher.

be careful what you wish for

[thrasymachos.livejournal.com]

I can see the studio heads now - "hmmm we need someone blond and 'grizzly...' I know! Seann William Scott! He was great as Stiffler in American Pie!"

Guy Pearce wouldn't suck though.

Oh, man, now you've done it....

[goteam.livejournal.com]

I'm kinda with trenchwench in hoping nobody dumb enough to cast Keanu is ever allowed to make a Hellblazer movie, perhaps because your Seann William Scott scenario is entirely too believable (which in and of itself makes me want to break shit --- hello, much too YOUNG?) I love Guy Pearce, but he'll always be Felicia Jollygoodfellow to me, so just imagining him as Constantine sends me into fits of giggles: I can't help but imagine him making bitchy comments about some demon's terrible fashion sense ("Nothing like a new frock to brighten up your day!"), and it all goes downhill from there. I have similar problems with Hugo Weaving (who is nonetheless one of my favorite actors ever): in the Matrix movies, he's Mitzi the Malevolent, and I can't even read the Lord of the Rings passages about Elrond without my brain inserting an "...and he looked FABULOUS" whenever possible. Any excuse to invoke The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, I tells you, any excuse.

Re: Oh, man, now you've done it....

[poppydos.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Priscilla totally ruined L.A. Confidential for me. But it was totally worth it. :)

Constantine

[thrasymachos.livejournal.com]

From Dark Horizons:
Djimon Hounsou, Shia LaBeouf and Gavin Rossdale have joined the "Hellblazer" comic adaptation playing occult club owner Papa Midnite, sidekick Chaz and nemesis Balthazar respectively.

Well, at least Gavin is really British.