The idea of a John Constantine movie starring Keanu Reeves as the title character makes me grumpy in a very petty, childish way (although that's no doubt helped by the fact that I'm up way past my bedtime, and yes I know it's stupid early, but I digress). I mean, what the felch? Constantine's modeled after Sting, for chrissakes, the least they could do is have him played by a blond Brit, not a pan-Asian California boy! Grumpitty grump grump grump. I think I'll go drown my disgruntlement in dessert and then sleep. Argle-bargle!