Queensize!

[go_team]

Next time, on Sick, Sad World, body issues! Maybe you already read the fabulous Chiara (amperlj if you like reminders, or you can subscribe to her handy email notification list) or maybe you saw triath plugging this entry about body issues, but if you don't or you haven't, you totally should. It will make you better appreciate the following lines from a Marie Claire article entitled "Anatomy of a Pigout":

Be aware that friendship is a dieter's enemy. A study by Pennsylvania State University found when people ate among friends or family, they consumed about 50 percent more than if they were alone or among strangers...

Oh my friends and random LiveJournal readers, let it be known that I will gladly be your diet's very worst enemy except or until the word "diet" means nothing more than the wonderful food you eat every day to sustain your fabulous body, which is a miracle plain and simple (both the simple existence of your body and the magic that is the way you literally are what you eat and when I say "you" I mean "all of us".)

And but so once upon a time pants_of_doom and I talked about creating something we wanted to call Queensize, or maybe Queenzsized, with the premise or slogan or subtitle "Take up some space". And Chiara's body post has me wanting to resurrect that project and that's where all you readers and friends come in again. If you've ever written or drawn or collaged or otherwise created anything about your body, or wanted to, I want to see it and/or read it and love it and share it with the world and maybe make a sexy print version of it because bookbinding is way fun. All you have to do is make something and share it with me and I will do the other stuff because that's what obsessive-compulsive tendencies are good for, yes? Yes.

Let's rock. queensized at gmail dot com.

And now the chamomile tea has kicked in and I MUST SLEEP. But write me if you want to play this fun creative game pretty please!

Comments

[porfinn.livejournal.com]

I wish I could, but unfortunately my aspirations force me to be one of the whiney dieters. I don't really mind. Every (a)vocation has some drawbacks. At least mine doesn't require grad school.

[goteam.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Something I had not considered while writing this rant! Tell me more about your acting goals and the effects they've had on your decisions about diet and exercise and general body-related self-image stuff. Do you really think of yourself as a whiny dieter, or is it easier to deal with because you've got a more defined goal than "thinner thighs in 2 weeks" or whatever? Bonus points: how ridiculously privileged a "problem" is this, dealing with the availability of too much food? (I feel like there's some kind of snarky "why diet when kids are starving in Africa" joke to be made out of that, oh yes.)

[drunkpotato.livejournal.com]

Girls are weird. Why can't you just look in the mirror every day and see Hugh Jackman like we do? Well, not Hugh Jackman for girls, cuz, you know, that would be ungood, but you get the idea. There are parts of my body I hate, but parts I love too, and I look in the mirror and say "Hey, my arms are really big. Cool!" My eyes sort of slide over the beer gut I've been fighting for it seems like forever; I only really notice it in supreme moments of self-hatred, which fortunately are rare and far between.

I guess what I'm saying is, wtf mate?

[clairebaxter.livejournal.com]

Plenty of us do feel that way. (I look awesome, etc.) But since you don't hear us whinging about our bodies, it gets lost in the general pop culture experience.

[triath.livejournal.com]

Yup.

It's scary how common body issues are among women. I can't count the number of times I've been around someone who's constantly on a diet, and spends much of their spare thought cycles thinking about calories and such. You really can't have much fun if that's the background music in your head.

Many of the stereotypes of women have drastically changed over the years (e.g., what jobs are appropriate, who should cook, etc.). Do you think that stereotypes of how a woman should look will change? Both whether the waif look will fade out of fashion but also whether men will prioritize body lower on the "requirements" list.

[goteam.livejournal.com]

I wrote Chiara last night about how I think at least part of the reason I'm so determinedly happy with my body is to rebel against my mom, who seems to always be on a diet or measuring her health purely in terms of "good" or "bad" eating habits or whatever. True. Other contributing factors: I think of constant dieting as girly and I tend to revel in being a non-standard girl, and related to this is I'm a big cheapskate and a lot of girly stuff like makeup and stylish clothes are really expensive... which brings me to the sad fact that I think I brought up when we saw Nomy Lamm at Scripps back in the day (remember? so awesome!) More and more men are developing body issues. Fashion is a growth industry! If the revolution (or the apocalypse) doesn't come, there could be twice as many people buying diet pills and makeup and all the other stuff I listed in response to drunkpotato's comment. Now that is scary.

[triath.livejournal.com]

Totally!!! Have I mentioned recently that you're SO much better than Barbie?

[pants-of-doom.livejournal.com]

Dude. My mom spent the last, I dunno, tenish years before the second round of cancer fighting 5-10 lbs. With the weight she was the same size I was at the time, which is not large at all. I'm not going to do that. I'll see what I can come up with for you, but bug me about it, please, because school takes over everything.

[goteam.livejournal.com]

I figure it's probably safe to bug you now? My mom is usually obsessing about 10 pounds or less, which may have directly led to my strategy of pretty much only buying clothes that will fit plus or minus ten pounds. Which is what percentage of my body weight again? Damn.

[clairebaxter.livejournal.com]

I think that's funny mostly because I think I have fewer weight worries than a lot of women because my mom was so confidently large all my life (also make-up-less and unshaven) and the fact that she's gorgeous really brings the message through to me.

[iainuki.livejournal.com]

My depressing speculation on this point is that while the waif look might pass out of fashion, male interest in female appearance is here forever, or at least until humans can change their essential nature. I'm not entirely sure I buy the evolutionary psychologists' reasoning why, but obsession with body type (examine the many depictions of the female form from the Venus of Willendorf on) and the size of certain parts of the body (skulls among the Inca, necks among the Pa Dong Karen, feet among the Chinese, breasts in the contemporary United States), or other aspects of physical appearance (make-up and hair styles in most Mediterranean and European cultures from Egypt and Rome onwards, with it mattering more for women than men) seems to be a strong cultural tendency.

(The theory I've heard about the waif look is that thinness is mark of status in develop countries. I further speculate that the reason is because the foods that taste as good as the more fattening processed foods cost more money and take more time to prepare, regular exercise requires a certain amount of free time, and education helps with the task of maintaining a particular weight through diet and exercise. None of these factors are decisive, but money and education certainly help if one wants to be thin.)

[goteam.livejournal.com]

Sweetie punkin cousin of mine, fat happy chicks (like me, shh!) don't sell makeup. Or diet products, or fashion magazines that look like Anorexia 101 course readers. (I do harbor a soft spot for the Title 9 sportswear catalog because it is full of awesome athletic babes --- you'd probably dig as well.) I could go on and on, but until we get to the point where being fat costs more than being thin, our beer guts ain't never gonna be in style. Dammit. (I'll rant about that some more in response to triath, below.) The world should worship us like the supremely awesome beings we are, hello and du-uh. Why can't I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks? (Okay, yeah, Allen Ginsberg asked that first.)

[porfinn.livejournal.com]

Guys don't dress to impress other guys. But based on the amount of guy-goo becoming available (hair products, etc.) your time is coming-- ha!

[mycrust.livejournal.com]

Let me tell you a horrifying story about my workplace in which a couple of male grad students started having a loud and animated discussion about the following "problem": Imagine you are going to have sex with three women of average height. The three women must weigh a total of 600 lbs. How would you divide the weight between them so as to have the most enjoyable experience?

This question is apparently based on the supposition that having sex with a 200 pound women would be somehow unpleasant. I told them that the conversation was completely ridiculous and that I refused to participate, but I wish I'd been able to be a little more outspoken how fucked-up and infuriating it was.

[goteam.livejournal.com]

But Mike! You could've drawn them into an uncomfortably graphic discussion of sex with fatties! Or skinnies! Bony edges -> not hot. But um, you probably did the right thing because I'm not sure how long it would've taken before the people you were talking with got the joke, let alone the fact that they were the joke. Sigh.

[foolmonkey.livejournal.com]

Hot or not, from a more practical consideration, bony edges -> not comfortable. I should know, being the (dubiously) proud owner of more than my fair share (I am thin, but not _that_ thin) of bony edges. Yeah, I've got pointy bones. Some are downright sharp.

Turns out I'm a practical kind of person...

[goteam.livejournal.com]

...or at least, comfortable is a big part of my definition of hotness. I don't have to always live in the comfortable place, but it's a good place to start and end pretty much any adventure I can think of. Um, I guess that's true for me on pretty much every level. ANYWAY. While I'm no one's definition of waifishly thin, somehow my fat has not yet expanded to cover all my bony edges. Go figure. I guess my point is: if you were thinking of putting on a few dozen pounds to cover up your pointy bones, you might want to rethink that strategy. Also, y'know, you're fabulous just the way you are and all that.

Re: Turns out I'm a practical kind of person...

[coldtortuga.livejournal.com]

Ah, sadly the distribution of plump is highly nonuniform across the body, hence there is really *no* good weigh to gain/lose wayt for the purposes of concealing or revealing one's knobby bony protrusions.

[foolmonkey.livejournal.com]

Relevantly, a girl in my dance class hijacked a few minutes of class time for us to help her with a psych survey. As per the usual, she wasn't allowed to tell us what it was about until after the fact.

It started with questions similar to "How long have you been dancing", "What styles", "When did you start each of them", and so on, then moving to whether you identify yourself as a dancer, etc. Then it turned to the more meaty parts of the survey, with 1-9 "How strongly do you agree?": "Men find you more attractive than most women.", "I am more attractive to men than most women", "Men find me sexier than most women". (This is the part where I realized the survey wasn't for me. At all. In fact, she just has to throw mine away.) Then it got to the juicy stuff. "How many partners in the last year have you had sex with?", "How many partners in the next five years are you likely to have sex with?", "How comfortable are you with a one night stand/casual sexual relationship?", "Would you, in the next five years, consider employment as a stripper?", "... topless dancer?", and my favorite: agree or disagree (on a 1-9 scale) "The worst part about sex is having to be naked in front of another person".

The survey is part of a study about sexual confidence in (female) dancers.

There were some funny parts. "Hey, what's 8 times 5?" "What question are you answering!?!" "Well, I've had sex with 8 people this year so far, so in the five years..."

That, and about half the class are freshman girls and virgins. Should be an interesting study.

lines and tangents

[keturn.livejournal.com]

On unhealthy self-image vs. "sustaining your fabulous body":

• Our Trader Joe's has McCann's Quick and Easy Steel Cut Oats.
• What if the article that has you running on the treadmill and counting your carbs is not "Two Weeks to Thinner Thighs," but is "How to Clear Brain Fog and Reverse Memory Decline"?
• What if the reason you're telling yourself you shouldn't have that extra piece of fudge is not about an extra layer of fat, but because you're afraid if you eat like that your thyroid will burn out in a few more years and you'll end up with a nasty case of diabetes?
• What on earth is FAGE Total 0% yogurt?

Re: lines and tangents

[goteam.livejournal.com]

• Our Trader Joe's has 'em, too.


• It's all about finding a way to enjoy taking care of yourself, instead of making it an exercise in self-punishment and self-loathing. Personally, I think treadmills are for suck, but stationary bikes are a great place to read. So are them whacky elliptical machines, once you learn to keep your balance. It all adds up to good for my brain on lots of levels, to which I say yay! Also it means I get to keep rebelling against my mom's freaky dieting, which it turns out is pretty important to me.


• Again, my top diet priority is rebelling against my mom's freaky dieting and talking about everything in terms of weight lost or gained. That and being happy with myself instead of dwelling on how I'm already genetically predisposed to cancer and heart attacks and diabetes.


• I have no idea.

Re: lines and tangents

[amperlj.livejournal.com]

Fage Total 0% yogurt is the best yogurt the world has ever seen. I will hear no argument on this issue. I eat it with this kickass fancy honey I get at the farmer's market. Speaking of which, I wish you people would send me all this McCann's Quick and Easy Steel Cut Oats because my housemate won't stop teasing me about getting my breakfast from the internet.

Something I didn't mention in that essay was the fact that my job is to encourage other people to exercise to ameliorate the symptoms of multiple sclerosis. I am well aware of the rationale behind the positive self-talk you mention; i.e. exercising and eating to actively promote health; I counsel people in it every day. In fact I began to exercise more seriously several years ago because I found working with diabetic amputees very internally motivating--I have Type II diabetes on both sides of the family as well as a nice little case of hypothyroidism. One of the big curses of my life is to be able to advise people very competently about difficulties identical to those I face myself.

I guess my point is that it doesn't matter. I know what I need to do and how I need to think...but that changes very little about how bad I feel about this sort of thing sometimes. I maintain that we can control our thoughts and behavior but not our feelings (well, two out of three ain't bad) and I have found consistently that I have very little control over *feeling* bad about my body, on the occasions that I do. Logic doesn't seem to have much to do with it for me; it doesn't matter how many people tell me I'm hot or beautiful or how low my cholesterol is (and that shit is LOW, baby) or how strong I am on the elliptical. I am healthier and stronger and more physically functional than many people I know and often it just doesn't matter. I don't know if I am the only person with this experience; I do know that of my fantastic friends (goteam and triath, I am looking in your direction) I seem to be one of the ones who struggle with body image issues the most.

If anyone is still following this conversation, you will be happy to know that I was feeling pretty hot this weekend and that I think I look extra super cute with my new super-short hair. I got up this morning and slathered on my crazy expensive body butter and noticed that above my pudge are some very nicely visible abdominal muscles. So there are good times as well as bad, body image-wise.

Re: lines and tangents

[goteam.livejournal.com]

Ooh! I picked up some Greek yogurt at Trader Joe's yesterday (when I saw the oats, which I can mail to you if/when needed)! Honey and fig flavors, the first for comparison because the yogurt I usually eat (Nancy's) and fig because it sounded more Greek. Anyway, now I am more excited than ever to try it.

P.S. Dammit, woman, you better not go disproving my theory/belief that abdominal muscles are a hallucination or a myth or whatever. Next thing I know you'll be telling me I should really remember to floss or something. Damn.