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go_team ([personal profile] go_team) wrote2004-07-31 06:13 pm
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Just some petty mutterings about crappy casting

So. If you were in charge of the James Bond movies, and you knew Pierce Brosnan was retiring from the title role, which of the following actors would you choose to replace him?

  1. Ewan "Obi Wan" McGregor,
  2. Jude "Gigolo Joe/Sky Captain" Law,

    or:
  3. Eric "The Hulk/Troy" Bana?

They're trying to choose Eric Bana. Bleaugh. Say what you will of Pierce Brosnan, at least he's kinda fun to watch. The same is true of both Ewan McGregor and Jude Law. But Eric Bana? Dull. Can't act. Not even all that hot --- and again, let me remind you that the competition was Ewan "can I get naked in this movie like I did in Trainspotting and The Pillow Book McGregor and Jude "Gigolo Joe" Law? Did I mention Gigolo Joe? That whole movie (everybody's favorite twisted Kubrick/Spielberg hybrid A.I., for those of you just tuning in) should've been about Gigolo Joe, not that stupid whiny kid-bot. Rrrgh! Either Jude Law or Ewan McGregor easily has the style and flair and humor to pull off an entertaining James Bond. But maybe they were looking for the action movie resumé above anything else? Or maybe the giveaway quote in the article is the bit about how they want to update Bond for audiences who like the Matrix movies. Because I'd say Eric Bana's about at Keanu's acting level: blank. Whine, whine, whine.

Heh. While I'm ranting about Keanu, Jude Law would've made a much better Constantine. But I've probably ranted enough displeasure about that already.

[identity profile] snuff-daddy.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
jude law would definitely be the better bond. ewan mcgregor just wouldn't clean up well enough i don't think.

[identity profile] goteam.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Ewan McGregor cleans up okay, but Jude Law is ever so much smoooooooother. Eric Bana wouldn't know smooth if... gah. I can't even come up with a snarky metaphor.

[identity profile] amoken.livejournal.com 2004-08-01 10:12 am (UTC)(link)
But on the other hand, Ewan could totally deliver all the cheesy lines. Jude is usually a more serious actor, but he's also hotter. They both move nice. I could deal with either.

I sure hope this other guy isn't another Roger Moore. Why'd they have to piss off Brosnan?!

[identity profile] pants-of-doom.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't stand Bond, but Jude Law made me want to have sex with robots.

[identity profile] harobed.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd be much more likely to watch future Bond movies if Ewan "great teeth" McGregor were to be featured.

[identity profile] quizro.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude, Eddie Izzard would make a much better Constantine.

Huh. Okay, I kinda said that to be funny, but now I'm really intrigued by that idea.

Eddie Izzard...? ::tries to imagine::

[identity profile] quizro.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh! But, uh, Bond. Yes. Ewan McG would bring an interesting flavor to the role, but Jude Law. Totally.

But to be fair, I avoided Hulk and Troy both so I dunno from Bana.

[identity profile] goteam.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I'm for Jude Law, pretty much all the way. But then again, if someone made a movie of Ewan McGregor brushing his teeth, I'd probably go see it. So I don't know. Really, what I'm trying to say is that someone should trap Eric Bana in a paper bag and then, when he can't act his way out of it, leave him in there. It'd be fine, really. Hell, get me a big paper bag. I'll do it.

[identity profile] quizro.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Psst. Did you see my Bond quiz?

[identity profile] martian687.livejournal.com 2004-07-31 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I still get furious when I hear people refer to Pierce Brosnon as "Bond". Honestly, the only good bonds were Connery and Moore. Everyone else pales in comparison.

ooooh ooh me

[identity profile] cosyne.livejournal.com 2004-08-01 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
I can do dry one-liners and use gadgets. They should let me do it.
I think I'll go practice my vodka martini drinking to get ready.

Re: ooooh ooh me

[identity profile] amoken.livejournal.com 2004-08-01 10:16 am (UTC)(link)
Can you make a banal action like flicking a match look sexy? That's the most important part of being Bond. That and being a cunning linguist.

[identity profile] drunkpotato.livejournal.com 2004-08-01 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
I pick option D, Rupert Everett. I know they won't let him be Bond because he's gay, but come on now, he'd be AMAZING! And he can fake liking women better than most straight men (An Ideal Husband). He's got the style, humor, and British accent to pull it off even better than Pierce "Irishman" Brosnen. I do like Brosnen. He's no Connery, but come on now, who is? You have to be realistic about these things.

So, um, yeah, to sum up: Rupert. Ewan McGregor is one of my favorite actors of all time (up there with Cary Grant in Charade, I'd say, and that's saying a hell of a lot), but I can't see him as Bond. He doesn't have the upper-class suave secret agent thing going.

Eric Bana sucks. A lot. I'd say he sucks dick, but so does Rupert, and Rupert is more macho and Bondly than Bana could ever hope twelve generations of his descendants breeding with Rupert's could ever be. So Bana sucks, what's worse than wrinkled penis? Hmm, perhaps he sucks the suckage off of suck-monster Julia Roberts. Shudder. I just gave myself nightmares.

I hereby forgive Rupert Everett for being in a movie with Julia Roberts. At least it had Cameron Diaz, who used to be hot.

[identity profile] iainuki.livejournal.com 2004-08-01 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
Am I the only one here who doesn't think that Eric Bana is incredibly awful? Admittedly, I've only seen him in Troy, and there he may have appeared better by comparison with Brad Pitt, who did nothing but look moody for the movie's 3+ hour run-time.

Of course, I don't Bana would make a very good Bond . . . but then I'm skeptical that any of them would. Law's talent runs to weirder things (Gigolo Joe, that creepy crime photographer/serial murderer in that gangster movie set in Chicago with Tom Hanks and Paul Newman whose name I'm not remembering), though I suppose I can see him convert it. Still, I don't think he has quite the right look. Ewan McGregor has the looks and the whole Scottish thing going for him, but let's say his turn as Obi-Wan hasn't excited me.

[identity profile] scarla.livejournal.com 2004-08-01 10:38 am (UTC)(link)
who are you? you took my response.
well, not verbatim, but i won't bother reiterating now. basically i agree.

[identity profile] iainuki.livejournal.com 2004-08-14 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Random Mudder. I lived in East for most of my time at Mudd.

[identity profile] poppydos.livejournal.com 2004-08-01 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I heard somewhere that they were considering Hugh Jackman.

Oh, and let me add one more *swoon* to the Ewan love fest (although I think he's too good for the Bond franchise).